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The Spy Chapter 1 – Part IX He left the bath and looked himself in the mirror. To Alex, that image that was reflected was not his. It should be. It really looked like him. But... it was not him. At first, he was too thin. It was not that bad, but somehow he felt bad about it, and could not explain why. He was below his weight, and he felt that. He would prefer having two or three kilograms more. At least. But he was having so many things to do, and had so little time to think in things that were not just to prepare himself to what was coming that all he was able to do was losing weight. But that was not his only problem. His hair was lighter and longer than he liked to use. He always had really black hair, shaved. It was shaved because it was a rule in the orphanage – it was easier to take care of the children. It was the first time he used long hair, and it was uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. And it had that beard. He hated beards. Beards remembered him suffering. The suffering he wanted to forget, even though he could not understand why. He had few memories about men with beard in his childhood. He knew some of them had done something bad to him, but he was not sure what, or when it had happened. Anyway, he hated beards, and the simple fact he had to keep one irritated him. It irritated him and mischaracterized him. He knew why he had to be like that: his work. He knew that, if it was necessary, he had to change his look quickly. And it would be necessary soon. But… he would like to look in the mirror and recognize himself. He would like to feel that something was really him, as he was pretending to be another person all the time. But that was the war. Everybody should lose something to win that war. It was sad and disturbing, but soon everything would be over. If he survived, he would feel again what was being like himself. (01042012) | ||||||
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EUqueDISSE 2014 |
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